diff --git a/include/api.h b/include/api.h
index de83b98..b6fcf3b 100644
--- a/include/api.h
+++ b/include/api.h
@@ -1,12 +1,12 @@
 #ifndef API_H_
 
+VARDECL char const * db;
+
 DECL int    api_init(void);
 DECL void   api_rope(void);
 DECL void   rope(void);
 DECL char * remind(char * who);
 DECL char * raw(char const * const sql);
 
-extern char const * db;
-
 #define API_H_
 #endif
diff --git a/include/help.h b/include/help.h
index 489434c..a1cdac6 100644
--- a/include/help.h
+++ b/include/help.h
@@ -2,8 +2,8 @@
 
 /* (((git))) */
 
-extern char const * help_msg;
-extern char const * fmsg;
+VARDECL char const * help_msg;
+VARDECL char const * fmsg;
 
 #define HELP_H_
 #endif
diff --git a/include/irc.h b/include/irc.h
index deae888..7175220 100644
--- a/include/irc.h
+++ b/include/irc.h
@@ -4,10 +4,9 @@
 
 #include "parse.h"
 
-extern irc_session_t * session;
-extern irc_callbacks_t callbacks;
-
-extern char * current_username;
+VARDECL irc_session_t * session;
+VARDECL irc_callbacks_t callbacks;
+VARDECL char * current_username;
 
 DECL int init(void);
 
diff --git a/include/parse.h b/include/parse.h
index 961b4d6..c054c39 100644
--- a/include/parse.h
+++ b/include/parse.h
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ typedef struct
   int     port;
 } creds_t;
 
-extern creds_t creds;
+VARDECL creds_t creds;
 
 DECL char * dump(void);
 DECL char * raw(char const * const sql);
diff --git a/include/stmt.h b/include/stmt.h
deleted file mode 100644
index 853bea5..0000000
--- a/include/stmt.h
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,50 +0,0 @@
-#define stmt_prepare(stmt) \
-  sqlite3_prepare_v2(connection, stmt ## _template, -1, &stmt, NULL)
-
-static sqlite3_stmt* remind_stmt;
-static const char remind_stmt_template[] =
-	"SELECT "
-		"title,"
-		"body,"
-		"difficulty,"
-		"repo_link,"
-		"trigger_date,"
-		"started DATE,"
-		"span"
-	" FROM assignment INNER JOIN project on assignment.project = project.rowid "
-	"WHERE who = ?;"
-;
-
-static sqlite3_stmt* set_repo_stmt;
-static const char set_repo_stmt_template[] =
-	"UPDATE assignment "
-		"SET "
-		"repo_link = ? "
-	"WHERE who = ?;"
-;
-
-static const char dump_stmt[] =
-	"SELECT * FROM project;"
-;
-
-static sqlite3_stmt* get_nth_id_stmt;
-static const char get_nth_id_stmt_template[] =
-	"SELECT rowid "
-	"FROM project "
-	"LIMIT 1 "
-	"OFFSET ?;"
-;
-
-static sqlite3_stmt* new_assignment_stmt;
-static const char new_assignment_stmt_template[] =
-	"INSERT INTO assignment "
-		"(who, project)"
-			" VALUES "
-		"(?, ?);"
-;
-
-static sqlite3_stmt* purge_assignments_stmt;
-static const char purge_assignments_stmt_template[] =
-	"DELETE FROM assignment "
-		"WHERE who = ?;"
-;
diff --git a/src/api.c b/src/api.c
index 9263d3b..b4f70ee 100644
--- a/src/api.c
+++ b/src/api.c
@@ -1,13 +1,3 @@
-#include <stdio.h>
-#include <stdlib.h>
-
-#include <sqlite3.h>
-
-#include "error.h"
-#include "irc.h"
-#include "irccolors.h"
-#include "stmt.h"
-
 #define DBFILE "probotic_data.sqlite"
 
 #define DBERR(line) do {                                                \
@@ -21,9 +11,60 @@
     }                                                                   \
   } while (0)
 
-char const * db = DBFILE;
+#define stmt_prepare(stmt)                                            \
+  sqlite3_prepare_v2(connection, stmt ## _template, -1, &stmt, NULL)
 
-static sqlite3 * connection = NULL;
+VARDECL sqlite3_stmt * remind_stmt;
+VARDECL char const remind_stmt_template[] =
+	"SELECT "
+		"title,"
+		"body,"
+		"difficulty,"
+		"repo_link,"
+		"trigger_date,"
+		"started DATE,"
+		"span"
+	" FROM assignment INNER JOIN project on assignment.project = project.rowid "
+	"WHERE who = ?;"
+;
+
+VARDECL sqlite3_stmt * set_repo_stmt;
+VARDECL char const set_repo_stmt_template[] =
+	"UPDATE assignment "
+		"SET "
+		"repo_link = ? "
+	"WHERE who = ?;"
+;
+
+VARDECL char const dump_stmt[] =
+	"SELECT * FROM project;"
+;
+
+VARDECL sqlite3_stmt * get_nth_id_stmt;
+VARDECL char const get_nth_id_stmt_template[] =
+	"SELECT rowid "
+	"FROM project "
+	"LIMIT 1 "
+	"OFFSET ?;"
+;
+
+VARDECL sqlite3_stmt * new_assignment_stmt;
+VARDECL char const new_assignment_stmt_template[] =
+	"INSERT INTO assignment "
+		"(who, project)"
+			" VALUES "
+		"(?, ?);"
+;
+
+VARDECL sqlite3_stmt * purge_assignments_stmt;
+VARDECL char const purge_assignments_stmt_template[] =
+	"DELETE FROM assignment "
+		"WHERE who = ?;"
+;
+
+VARDECL char const * db = DBFILE;
+
+VARDECL sqlite3 * connection = NULL;
 
 DECL int
 api_init(void)
diff --git a/src/irc.c b/src/irc.c
index 8805d46..d8d33e8 100644
--- a/src/irc.c
+++ b/src/irc.c
@@ -18,20 +18,7 @@
 
 */
 
-#include <assert.h>
-#include <stdio.h>
-#include <stdarg.h>
-#include <string.h>
-#include <time.h>
-#include <stdlib.h>
-
-#include "api.h"
-#include "error.h"
-#include "irc.h"
-#include "irccolors.h"
-#include "parse.h"
-
-char const * help_msg =
+VARDECL char const * help_msg =
 IRC_GREEN "!help           " IRC_STOP "   : This message\n"
 IRC_GREEN "!remind         " IRC_STOP "   : Dump current assignment\n"
 IRC_GREEN "!reroll         " IRC_STOP "   : Rerolls assignment\n"
@@ -41,7 +28,7 @@ IRC_GREEN "!dump           " IRC_STOP "   : List all possible projects\n"
 IRC_GREEN "!request        " IRC_STOP "   : Request personal project\n"
 IRC_GREEN "!remind         " IRC_STOP "   : Prints your assignment\n";
 
-char const * fmsg =
+VARDECL char const * fmsg =
 "%s\x2C\x20\x79\x6F\x75\x20\x61\x72\x65\x20\x66\x61\x67\x67"
   "\x6F\x74\x20\x66\x6F\x72\x20\x74\x68\x61\x74\x20\x6F\x70"
   "\x69\x6E\x69\x6F\x6E\x2E";
@@ -49,11 +36,12 @@ char const * fmsg =
 #define PREFIX_COMMAND_CHAR '!'
 #define PREFIX_CHANNEL_COMMAND_CHAR '%'
 
-irc_session_t * session;
-irc_callbacks_t callbacks;
+VARDECL irc_session_t * session;
+VARDECL irc_callbacks_t callbacks;
 
-char * current_username = NULL;
-int f = -1;
+VARDECL char * current_username = NULL;
+/* Do you have any idea how many things this breaks? */
+int stupid_shit = -1;
 
 #define IRCMSG(msg) irc_cmd_msg(session, creds.channel, msg)
 
@@ -137,8 +125,9 @@ event_channel(irc_session_t * session,
 	  break;
   }
   if(!current_username || *(message+1) == '\00'){ return; }
-  --f;
-  if(f == 0){ ircmsg(fmsg, current_username); }
+  --stupid_shit;
+  if(stupid_shit == 0)
+  { ircmsg(fmsg, current_username); }
   parse_command(message+1);
   free(current_username);
   current_username = NULL;
diff --git a/src/main.c b/src/main.c
index a014f39..7c992f6 100644
--- a/src/main.c
+++ b/src/main.c
@@ -18,14 +18,6 @@
 
 */
 
-#include <stdio.h>
-#include <stdlib.h>
-
-#include "api.h"
-#include "error.h"
-#include "free.h"
-#include "irc.h"
-
 #define VERSION_STRING "0.0"
 
 #define EQOP(var,val,off)                          \
@@ -91,7 +83,8 @@ main (int argc,
         else if (strcmp(arg, "password") == 0)
         { free(creds.password); creds.password = strdup(argv[1]); }
         else if (strcmp(arg, "admin") == 0)
-        { free(creds.admins); parse_admins(argv[1]); } /* argv isn't constant :> */
+          /* argv isn't constant :>, this can make even valgrind shutter */
+        { free(creds.admins); parse_admins(argv[1]); }
         else if (strcmp(arg, "auth") == 0)
         {
           authfile = argv[1];
diff --git a/src/parse.c b/src/parse.c
index 028c325..5a2eab8 100644
--- a/src/parse.c
+++ b/src/parse.c
@@ -17,18 +17,10 @@
     version 3 + NIGGER along with Probotic.
 
 */
-#include <stdio.h>
-#include <stdlib.h>
-#include <string.h>
-
-#include "error.h"
-#include "free.h"
-#include "help.h"
-#include "parse.h"
 
 #define PARAMS_COUNT 6
 
-enum cred_param_ids_e
+enum cred_names_map
 {
   USERNAME,
   PASSWORD,
@@ -38,7 +30,7 @@ enum cred_param_ids_e
   ADMINS
 };
 
-char const * cred_names[] =
+VARDECL char const * cred_names[] =
 {
   "username",
   "password",
@@ -48,7 +40,7 @@ char const * cred_names[] =
   "admins"
 };
 
-size_t const cred_names_len[] =
+VARDECL size_t const cred_names_len[] =
 {
   8,
   8,
@@ -58,7 +50,7 @@ size_t const cred_names_len[] =
   6
 };
 
-creds_t creds = {0};
+VARDECL creds_t creds = {0};
 
 DECL char *
 slurp(char const * fn)
@@ -73,9 +65,11 @@ slurp(char const * fn)
     rewind(fp);
     b = malloc(len+2);
     if (b)
-    { fread(b, 1, len, fp); }
+    {
+      fread(b, 1, len, fp);
+      b[len+1] = '\0';
+    }
     fclose(fp);
-    b[len+1] = '\0';
 
     return b;
   }
@@ -101,33 +95,29 @@ parse_command(char const * cmd)
     { exit(1); }
     if (strcmp(cmd, "remind") == 0)
     {
-	  msgswp = remind(current_username);
-	  ircmsg("%s: %s", current_username, msgswp);
-	}
+      msgswp = remind(current_username);
+      ircmsg("%s: %s", current_username, msgswp);
+    }
 	// XXX: maybe no?
     //else if (strcmp(cmd, "next") == 0)	// TODO: implement
     //{ ircmsg("%s: No future assignments", current_username); }
     else if (strcmp(cmd, "help") == 0)
-    {
-	  ircmsg(help_msg);
-	}
+    { ircmsg(help_msg); }
     else if (strcmp(cmd, "magic") == 0)
-    {
-		f = 8 + (rand() % 100);
-	}
+    { stupid_shit = 8 + (rand() % 100); }
     else if (strcmp(cmd, "dump") == 0)
     {
-	  ircmsg("%s: All projects:", current_username);
-	  msgswp = dump();
-	  ircmsg(msgswp);
-	}
+      ircmsg("%s: All projects:", current_username);
+      msgswp = dump();
+      ircmsg(msgswp);
+    }
     else if (strcmp(cmd, "reroll") == 0)	// TODO: implement
     {
-	  ircmsg("%s: Rerolling...", current_username);
-	  purge_assignments(current_username);
-	  random_assign(current_username);
-	  ircmsg(remind(current_username));
-	}
+      ircmsg("%s: Rerolling...", current_username);
+      purge_assignments(current_username);
+      random_assign(current_username);
+      ircmsg(remind(current_username));
+    }
   }
   else
   {
diff --git a/src/unity.c b/src/unity.c
index a42a135..19a0a15 100644
--- a/src/unity.c
+++ b/src/unity.c
@@ -1,4 +1,23 @@
 #define DECL static
+#define VARDECL static
+
+#include <assert.h>
+#include <stdio.h>
+#include <stdarg.h>
+#include <string.h>
+#include <time.h>
+#include <stdlib.h>
+
+#include <sqlite3.h>
+
+#include "api.h"
+#include "error.h"
+#include "free.h"
+#include "help.h"
+#include "irc.h"
+#include "irccolors.h"
+#include "parse.h"
+
 #include "irc.c"
 #include "parse.c"
 #include "api.c"