---
title: "be excellent to each other"
published: 2020-01-25
---

### on blocks, rumours, fallacies, politics, and the importance of being excellent to each other

> note: this was originally posted by me to the fediverse in
> [this post](https://lets.bemoe.online/notice/9rNUPQmP2j5MsYznW4 "the original post")

> i apologise in advance for the length but i did leave out a **LOT** of things i
> believe are important to try and make it a little bit shorter.
> 
> the tl;dr is: instance blocking based on rumour and guilt by association is
> bad; people who disagree can still get on with other; be excellent to each
> other. but i feel like what i wrote about is important. otherwise i wouldn't
> have bothered writing a tl;dr, but i know this will be not be read to the end
> by most [especially on fedi] because of its length, and i want to respect that.
 
since i know of no way to see a list of members of my instance other than
the one in adminfe which isn't great if i'm looking for the purpose of finding
the people here ([lbmo](https://lets.bemoe.online lets.bemoe.online)) so i can follow them, i thought i'd put "lets.bemoe.online"
into pleroma's search bar to see if it would show members of it under the
'people' tab (spoiler warning: it does not work this way).

so, i started reading the posts listed under 'statuses' and i feel both
loved/thankful to a lot of wonderful friends of mine and sad about how the
whole *federating* part of the *fediverse* is being slowly undone by admins who
claim to be progressive and forward thinking but are unfortunately just
propagating a culture reminiscent of twitter and friends, unbeknownst to their
users and often even themselves.

i have said this many times, but i am going to say it again: **GUILT BY
ASSOCIATION** is a logical fallacy and is **NOT** something that instance blocks
should be based on. the same is true of **RUMOURS** which don't have any basis in
reality. i have yet to see a reason my instance has been blocked by another
that is actually both valid and based on truth.

it used to make me a little sad or upset when i found out i, personally, had
been blocked by another user. since then i've come to appreciate it. i think
it's a wonderful thing that a user can block another user so they don't have to
deal with them. users blocking instances is 100% ok by me, too, although i'm
just assuming that this is possible because i haven't ever looked for that
setting. (sidenote: if it is *not* possible for a user to block an instance so
they can't see activity from them then the fact an instance *can* and without any
hacks is stupid and backwards.)

when lies such as those surrounding instances like mine, blobcat, fab,
enigmatic observer, and many others are propagated across the fediverse and
admins use those unsubstantiated rumours as a basis for an instance block, it
means that they are cutting all of their users off from being able to interact
with any friends and potential friends those users might have had in blocked
instance. i created `lbmo` in part so i could participate in the fediverse
without having to dealing with the instance blocks that were being unjustly
dished out to fantastic instances like the one i came from before starting my own: fab
([fedi.absturztau.be]() is fab, and the admin, `@absturztaube` is an excellent admin,
a great friend, a kind person, and has been the object of unwarranted attacks
and hate. i owe them a lot).

i didn't make it a personal instance like i was originally going to because in
the end i decided letting other users join sounded more fun to me. for a long
time and while a lot of the blocking was happening (more than i knew about and
likely far more than i know about even still), i was the only truly active
person on this server. i don't like all of the instances i federate with (which
is all of them who have not blocked federation with me; i do not instance block), and i do not agree
with a lot of opinions many of the people in the instances i federate with hold. that doesn't
mean i think the users here or myself would be better off if i cut federation
with them. even some of the instances with a majority of users who have views i
find very off-putting have people in them who are good people and friendly.

many people will sign up to a fedi server not knowing anything about the blocks
that happen and the true stories behind them. when i first joined the fediverse
i had no idea these kinds of blocks existed (instances blocking other
instances). i also know i'm not the only one. i am also sure a lot of people
sign up on instances considered evil and toxic by a lot of the existing fedi
community clueless about the reputation they hold or the views of the majority
of users on the server, let alone how many servers block the one they join.

when you isolate communities like that, those who held moderate opinions on
different issues or had no opinion on them have a strong tendency to end up
extremist themselves. and right now a large part of the fediverse is being
split from another. you can call them the radical right and radical left if you
want a dichotomy in order to better understand. this breeds more radicals on
either side and sows the seeds of discord between people who have opinions
differing from yours.  **THIS** is what i find to be extremely toxic.

i have friends and family who disagree strongly with my views, and whose views
i strongly disagree with myself. for example, i am close with people who think
trump is an excellent president who is doing the right things for america. i
don't understand their reasonings. and that's ok. people don't have to agree to
get along. i am an anarchist and a socialist. i think capitalism should be
abolished. i have not been alive during a time when the president of the united
states hasn't been a war criminal. the so-called two party system in america is
comprised of two political parties who have almost identical policies across
the board. even among young people it is not a popular opinion to say that
obama is a war criminal as well as the republican presidents who came before
and after.

it is ok to disagree with people. no-one agrees about every little thing. this is
not a reason people shouldn't get along. if people focused more on those around
them (both virtually like we are doing online right now and in meat space) and
put their energy into trying to get along with people with whom they disagree
politically/religiously/philosophically/etc. there wouldn't be all the
polarisation and prejudices that are rampant and what keeps the oligarchy able
to continue staying in power because discord and unity are mutually exclusive
things.

i will likely be blocked for writing this post. but i hope some people who read
it will take something from it and that it might serve as a reminder to some
that **being excellent to each other is critical for the future**. i can answer
questions and give more information where needed. this is something written
without any kind of outline so i don't doubt some people may be confused by
parts.

`this is the entirety of the post i made on fedi, the only differences being some minor corrections and one or two clarifications for those unfamiliar with the fediverse`

**be** ***moe*** **online, and be yummy offline**

**stay tasty o/**