gopherhole/mayvaneday/archive/flashfiction/l/lucine-whence.html

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<title>lucine, whence you came - Archive - MayVaneDay Studios</title>
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<p><b>MayVaneDay Studios (Gopher Edition)</b></p>
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<p><b>lucine, whence you came</b></p>
<p>published: 2-11-2019</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>You and I sit on opposite ends of the table. You sip coffee from a cracked mug. I twirl a few locks of hair in my fingers, eyes elsewhere, disinterested in the contents of whatever air wed just gotten done exchanging.</p>
<p>You set down your cup. “So, about the weather…?”</p>
<p>I shrug. “What about it?”</p>
<p>“The skys been awfully gray recently.” You take another sip of coffee. “Listen, Lucine-”</p>
<p><em>Thats not my name,</em>” I hiss through my teeth.</p>
<p>You sigh. “Thats the name you gave me last night… But fine. Whatever. What Im trying to say is, whats gotten into you recently? Last year, I could have left you alone for a month and then come back, and you would have been more or less the same- but now I cant even leave you alone for <em>five minutes</em> without you morphing into something… urecognizable. Its <em>disorienting</em>, Lucine. Keeping up with you is like running a marathon. It was fun at first, watching you flit about everywhere, but…” You tap your fingers on the table. “Its tiring. And Im beyond fatigued.”</p>
<p>“Its what I have to do,” I answer. “This is my souls fate- this is <em>my</em> fate. To mask myself, to hide from the light, to wander the earth. I cant stand still, else Ill be a moving target.”</p>
<p>“I thought you wanted to be respected? How is <em>this</em>-” you gesture towards me, towards my whole body- “deserving of any respect? You constantly antagonize people. You assume the worst of everyone. You search for reasons to cut people off-”</p>
<p>I wave my arm to cut you off. “Listen. I love you. I love you <em>so, so</em> dearly. And maybe, in a better life, you and I would have been faster friends, or maybe even something more. But this is my life- this is mine, and mine alone to find. And this place-” I gesture all around me, to the house, to the ground it rests on, to the land surrounding it- “this soil isnt letting me grow anymore. Ive stagnated. Any growth Ive found is in <em>spite</em> of it.” I push my chair back and stand up. “Im sorry. I need to be elsewhere so the soil can heal. So <em>I</em> can heal.”</p>
<p>“Lucine…” You rub your forehead, the skin between your eyes. “You <em>are</em> coming back, right?”</p>
<p>“Maybe someday. When fate is kinder to both of us.” I turn away and leave- but stop at the doorway, lingering, longer than I know I should. “I will make you a promise, though. You and I will meet again. But you may not know it.”</p>
<p>“W-why?” You kick your own chair back and bolt to your feet. “What are you saying?”</p>
<p>“Ill repeat myself. You and I will meet again.” I step out the door. “But I will not be me.”</p>
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