MayVaneDay Studios (Gopher Edition)

a hhh ahaha

published: 9-23-2018

there are several thousand of me
scattered all over this wasteland we call the modern web
which one is the real me? the ones I currently use?
or did I lose myself in the corpses long ago

I am in trouble
I am in trouble
I am in trouble
I am in trouble
out of memory
out of second, third, fourth chances
out of time

I want to go back to the days
where the entirety of the web was just popping bubbles on a Twistables game
before Crayola remodeled their website
before the computer running XP in the corner of the home office crashed and died
before I crashed and died

I don't want to be a saint anymore
because saints are expected to perform miracles
and it would be a miracle if I could get back on my own two feet
but I can't even find my own two feet
but I can't even find my own two eyes
or four
or six
always six
always out of time
always me, forever

a ghost offered to pull me out of the fog
but maybe the ghost is of the fog
but maybe the ghost is the fog
surrounding me, suffocating me of me
and I lay dead in the middle of the forest

how do you decompose?
because you've lived fast and short and now your candle wick is gone
lie still, my friend
lie still as the wind caresses your bones
lie still as the earth takes your flesh
lie still
lie still

which reality is the real reality?
because if I say I am, then I am
and I am
and I am not
and I am

change the truth until it reflects reality
change the truth until it reflects the world you want to see
change the truth until it fits you