From 07eb383fdf49d6e53d94ce6f1d80b76da47d8a3c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Shaun Kerr Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2018 11:31:44 +1200 Subject: [PATCH] post post post post post post post post --- posts/peanut-butter.md | 67 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 67 insertions(+) create mode 100644 posts/peanut-butter.md diff --git a/posts/peanut-butter.md b/posts/peanut-butter.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..01ed0b1 --- /dev/null +++ b/posts/peanut-butter.md @@ -0,0 +1,67 @@ +--- +title: "Peanut Butter? I Hardly Even Know Her!" +published: 2018-09-06 +--- + +had a small argument at work, needed to vent my thoughts on it. + +the topic? ***smooth*** vs **crunchy** peanut butter. + +spoler alert, this is a... + + + +# SMOOTH ONLY ZONE # + +get out of here with that lumpy *shite* + +so with that in place, lets get down to business (to defeat, the chunks) + +## texture + +this was the main point of contention. so lets just get this straight. + +if you are toasting your bread for any amount of time that is more than a few seconds, ***you have texture in your toast*** + +if you are using any sort of wholegrain bread ***you have texture in your toast*** + +the chunks in chunky peanut butter make it: + +* harder to spread +* harder to eat +* hurt your teeth +* increase variance of flavour in each bite + +so get that shit out of here. moot point. + +smooth v crunchy : 1 - 0 + +## taste + +they taste the same, chunks add nothing, except they randomly increase/decrease the flavour based on the density of chunks you happen to have in that bite. + +smooth gives you a consistent taste. + +this is a good thing. + +moot point, smooth wins this round. + +smooth v crunchy : 2 - 0 + +## aesthetics + +crunchy peanut butter on toast looks like a pile of crunchy shit on a pile of jagged grains. looks terrible. + +smooth contrasts with the roughness of the toast to form a nice balance. + +moot point, smooth wins, maybe if you're eating crunchy peanut butter on flatbread but if you do that you're what we in the business call a ***fuarking weirdo*** and probably shouldn't be allowed out in public. + +smooth v crunchy : 3 - 0 + +# final verdict + +there we have it folks, smooth wins by a **fizzityucking blow out** so any haters are *objectively wrong* + +if you disagree with this email me at `vip@bigdicc.club` and prepare to get ignored because i don't talk to people with shit opinions on things that count, like this. + +ciao all, enjoy your smooth peanut butter.