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+---
+title: In My Dreams
+published: 2019-02-05
+---
+
+> in my dreams youre alive and youre crying
+
+in my dreams, my day dreams, my night dreams, when my mind wanders, when im thinking hard, or not thinking at all, i can see you alive, and i can see you crying.
+
+myself, stuck in my dreams, able to only watch, and cry.
+
+you cry when im weak, you cry when im stupid, you cry when im not myself.
+
+everytime my will breaks, you cry
+
+everytime i sacrifice my ideals for some neurotypical urge, you cry
+
+everytime i give up, lay down, and rot, you cry.
+
+everytime i be anything less than you, you cry, and i cry, because all i want to be is you.
+
+there are other times, however.
+
+everynow and then, when i take a second to think about what im doing, and like it, and find myself smiling, you cry
+
+you weep tears of joy, because im closer to the real me.
+
+im not the man that many others would strive to be, im not physically fit, im not an order of magnitude smarter than other people.
+
+im not emotionally strong, im not mentally capable, but i am something.
+
+im the mind that is like no other, and once i find the way through this maze ill find you, and ill rescue you, and well cry no more.
+
+in reality, youll be alive and smiling, as will i.
+
+`:wq`
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