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- # "Peanut Butter? I Hardly Even Know Her!"
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- had a small argument at work, needed to vent my thoughts on it.
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- the topic? ***smooth*** vs **crunchy** peanut butter.
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- spoler alert, this is a...
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- <SIRENS ALARM>
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- # SMOOTH ONLY ZONE #
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- get out of here with that lumpy *shite*
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- so with that in place, lets get down to business (to defeat, the chunks)
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- ## texture
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- this was the main point of contention. so lets just get this straight.
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- if you are toasting your bread for any amount of time that is more than a few seconds, ***you have texture in your toast***
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- if you are using any sort of wholegrain bread ***you have texture in your toast***
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- the chunks in chunky peanut butter make it:
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- * harder to spread
- * harder to eat
- * hurt your teeth
- * increase variance of flavour in each bite
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- so get that shit out of here. moot point.
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- smooth v crunchy : 1 - 0
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- ## taste
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- they taste the same, chunks add nothing, except they randomly increase/decrease the flavour based on the density of chunks you happen to have in that bite.
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- smooth gives you a consistent taste.
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- this is a good thing.
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- moot point, smooth wins this round.
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- smooth v crunchy : 2 - 0
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- ## aesthetics
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- crunchy peanut butter on toast looks like a pile of crunchy shit on a pile of jagged grains. looks terrible.
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- smooth contrasts with the roughness of the toast to form a nice balance.
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- moot point, smooth wins, maybe if you're eating crunchy peanut butter on flatbread but if you do that you're what we in the business call a ***fuarking weirdo*** and probably shouldn't be allowed out in public.
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- smooth v crunchy : 3 - 0
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- # final verdict
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- there we have it folks, smooth wins by a **fizzityucking blow out** so any haters are *objectively wrong*
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- if you disagree with this email me at `vip@bigdicc.club` and prepare to get ignored because i don't talk to people with shit opinions on things that count, like this.
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- ciao all, enjoy your smooth peanut butter.
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