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posts/fukken-bonks.md

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+---
+title: Fukken Bonks
+published: 2018-12-18
+---
+
+here it is, the much requested bionicle post.
+
+bionicles were, for those who aren't aware, a line of lego sets that ran from 2001 to 2010
+
+~~it was also rebooted a number of years later but thats a bit of a matrix-sequels situation~~
+
+the bionicle lore is ***stupidly good*** and is far better than the plot for a toyline deserves to be.
+
+theres so much that could be said about it, but lets just run through the basic timeline and go from there.
+
+## before the story
+
+theres a planet that a bunch of people live on. a bunch of nerds from that species basically figure out how to become gods, and rule over the planet. these are the great beings.
+
+they cbf dealing with ruling a planet, so they created the elemental lords to do it for them, each lord ruled a group of people who were all fashioned around those elements.
+
+sometime later, a powerful substance known as *energised protodermis* is discovered, it has the power to either destroy instantly, or power something up something stupid.
+
+the great beings warn that mining this could cause the planet to be destroyed, however a war breaks out over the substance, and they start mining it.
+
+at this point the great beings think something along the lines of
+
+> god fukken dammit, couldnt you lot just behave, guess we gotta fix this
+
+and they decided to build a giant fuck off robot, as you do.
+
+## the robot
+
+this robot is approx. seven hundred billion trillion metres tall.
+
+the point of this robot was to fly into space and observe other worlds, and then come back to fix the planet once the artificial intelligence in it had learnt how to avoid war and shit.
+
+this ai was named "mata nui", meaning "great spirit", and is sort of like the god of the bionicle world (or one of them, anyway).
+
+now this robot was a little bit like the earth-computer from hitchhikers, in that it was so big and complex, that it required beings to form its inner workings. this is where the bionicles come in.
+
+the innards of the robot contain spheres that have worlds in them, and each world is a part of the robot.
+
+for example, the city of metru nui is the brain of mata nui, and if the city were to stop running, mata nui would be weakened and possibly rendered comatose until the city was started up again.
+
+the job of the bionicles originally was to keep everything running, so that mata nui could continue to learn how to avoid war and fix the great beings planet.
+
+## the makuta
+
+the makuta were designed by the great beings to create animals for the matoran universe (the worlds inside the robot). they did this for a start, but eventually formed their own illuminati like orginisation to rebel against mata nui.
+
+the main culprit here was the makuta teridax. he took over metru nui, and begane to poison mata nui with a virus, causing him to fall into a deep sleep.
+
+this caused the robot (flying through space) to crash onto the nearest planet, heavily damaging the robot and the various cities inside.
+
+at the same time, makuta teridax had taken all the matoran from metru nui, ad placed them in spheres that would wipe their memory.
+
+luckily, the champions of the bionicle universe managed to save the matoran from both makuta teridax, and the damaged city, and moved then to the face of the robot, which, having had its camo accidently enabled, was now lush with forest.
+
+they set up the matoran here, and named the island mata nui, after the great spirit.
+
+the champions used the last of their power to reawaken the matoran, turning into turaga, or village elders, once their power had gone.
+
+## aftermath
+
+this is where the 2001 storyline for bionicles starts, on the island of mata nui, with the great spirit mata nui asleep and comatose, and makuta teridax trying to take over the great spirit robot.
+
+the original planet, its people, and the great beings are stuck, waiting for the robot to return and both rebuild the planet, and teach its peoples the ways of peace.
+
+will any of this happen? stay tuned to find out.
+
+`what would matoro do?`