oh no

posts/furicuri.md

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+---
+title: Furi Curi
+published: 2019-04-15
+---
+
+i first saw *Fooly Cooly* when i was in highschool, which possibly was the perfect time to see it. i have seen it many times since, and it has cemented itself in the rung below Lain and Eva, one of the greats.
+
+the pillows became part of the soundtrack of my life, the casual counter-counter-culture vibes became something of a lighthouse for the younger, angstyer tA, and it offered a nice counterbalance to the black hole that is 'the effects of neon genesis evangelion on a developing psyche'
+
+the original fooly cooly was a show that, like many others who had seen it, i never thought would get a sequel.
+
+it was a wacky coming of age story, with more than its fair share of wackiness, and turned out to be far more genuine than you would expect from first glance.
+
+we followed naota and his thoughts on what it meant to grow up, and we reached the end of his story, and that was it.
+
+so when *FLCL: Alternative* got announced, i was fairly, as the french say, ***blah zay***, i never looked into anything past the announcement "we're doing season 2", and i never bothered to watch it when it came out, or even read what people thought about it.
+
+the story was done, there was no more to be said.
+
+the magic would be ruined if we got explanations for harukos side of the story, and her side being unknown is part of what made the original work so well.
+
+fast forward to last weekend and i finally watched both Alternative, and the third season **Progressive**, and as it turns out...
+
+i have some thoughts.
+
+## progressive
+
+was absolute garbo, everything fell flat, the animation was wonky, the jokes were lame, the characters were boring (even the old characters we once loved) and overall the entire season felt like theyd gotten the script mixed up with an AO3 self insert fiction of a highschool teen girl who doesnt particularly care about being heroic, just about being *in the middle of things*.
+
+now that last statement, if this had happened in *alternative* i might have called it a meta statement about the series, abstracting out the originals core plateau and moving it a layer.
+
+this isnt the case for progressive, its just that its garbage.
+
+honestly theres not even that much to say about this series, if you wanna hear your favourite characters do **semi okay quips** at a much slower pace than normal feel free.
+
+if youre a weeb who likes self insert stories about people doing.... things? not much at all tbh? in desolate ruins of schools, and the only thing stopping you from talking to someone you like is ***literally society and any reason to live existing*** then go ahead i guess?
+
+maybe if you really like hearing the main characters yell the names of the other main characters ***so. fuccing. much***
+
+otherwise, give this a skip, or watch it, but watch it knowing what youre going into, which is a show that was half written by an angsty teenage girl, and half written by a massive board of corporates, and overall doesnt really do anything right at all, the least of which is capturing that classic **FLCL** charm.
+
+## alternative
+
+lets cut to the chase before we get to unedited rambling;
+
+> FLCL: Alternative is a type of sequel that more shows should attempt, and it does a damn good job of it.
+
+what do i mean by this? alternative is a show that aims to capture the feeling of the original, and tell its own story, rather than either a direct sequel, or a new take.
+
+so the real question here becomes;
+
+### what is flcl at its core?
+
+ive thought a lot about this, and im not sure ill ever have the right answer, but heres a stab at it
+
+*furi kuri* has this weird, multi layer metaphor core, allow me to explain:
+
+the actual plot of the story follows from a metaphor, something that a lot of shows do at this level, for example;
+
+> seeing other people be grown up is like seeing them hit a perfect home run, it is something that i dont believe i can do
+
+or
+
+> seeing people close to me grow up and move away, or go their seperate ways, is like watching them all move to mars
+
+fooly cooly then takes this metaphor and makes it real, and gives it a reason to happen.
+
+people actually ARE swinging their bats all the time, and naota is going to need to as well because theres a massive asteroid coming to hit earth if he doesnt bat it away
+
+people actually ARE moving to mars, because theres an alien threat on earth, a threat that kana is going to have to deal with somehow, sooner rather than later.
+
+this mirroring of reality and the characters mental situation is what allows the characters to shine through. harako fits so well into this world because this is a world where any aspect of the main characters pysche can exist.
+
+the core goes a step further, however. the main characters dont solve their problems physically, they solve them mentally, they understand their feelings, they finally swing the bat, and the physical problem gets solved as a result.
+
+they are living in the real world, observing the wacky world, and solving their problems in the real world, with the wacky following suit.
+
+its a very neat way of being able to have this crazy, memorable cast and vibe, yet keeping all the emotional aspects of the show grounded in reality, and also what leads to Alternative being so good.
+
+### what is alternative?
+
+alternative is exactly what it says on the tin, its an ***alternative*** telling of the core **FLCL** experience.
+
+the core experience is the same, we have haruko doing whatever it is that haruko does, and bringing some helpless kid along for the ride.
+
+we have amarao being ***one of the best characters of the season***, really they hit the ball out of the park (subtle nod i know) with his character.
+
+we get kamon and his noodle store being a fair bit chiller, but just as *kamon* as last time.
+
+and we get a completely new set of characters, kana and her crew, to follow.
+
+the core of kanas story is pretty simple, growing up can be tough, and it requires us to face things we would prefer not to face, it requires us to get used to things we'd rather not, and it requires us to say goodbye.
+
+i think the plot here is actually rather unimportant. theres some nice moments for sure, and the push to actually talk about your feelings is something a lot of people could do with, but thats not where *Alternative* shines.
+
+where alternative shines is how that plot fits in with the core fooly cooly experience.
+
+amarao guzzling the spiciest noodles known to man because "my taste buds are so much more mature than others", when all he wants in the end is some cold, unspiced soba, is what this show is about.
+
+watching a relatively low-key, slice of life weebshit about highschool students coming to terms with growing up? yeah, its not quite the feeling the original had, but maybe its just because my tastes are more mature than yours, we as ***adults*** dont have time for wacky shows, we need emotions, for a more *mature* watching experiance.
+
+and so in a way, this new direction, arguably ***the*** new direction this season took, is its best feature.
+
+not because its better than the first, because its not.
+
+but because it understood what fooly cooly was about, and delivered a story that fit in with that core, while highlighting parts of the key philosophy that made the first season what it was.
+
+kana doesnt get her storybook ending, she doesnt get the boy, stick with herfriends forever, or solve all her problems, but she does start to *understand* them, just as naota did, and by climax we see the first step towards growing as a person, realising that people have flaws, but we can live through them, and moving into a world that is just a little wackier than it was before.
+
+## fin
+
+fooly cooly is a show about growing up, for people who had trouble growing up. its about the people who needed an extra push to come to terms with whatever it is they needed to come to terms with, and come out better off because of it.
+
+its a show that has two very good seasons, and one absolutely garbage season, and you know what? thats ok.
+
+is alternative as good as the original? hell no, but it would do us all some good to pour a pot full of chilli flakes on it, and enjoy it like the grown ups we are.
+
+life is about balance, learning whats on each end of the scales, and alternative is a very good alternative to the flcl we know and love.
+
+`:wq`

posts/glasses.md

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+---
+title: Glasses
+published: 2019-04-12
+---
+
+im a bit abrasive on the outside, qeustion anything, forge your own path.
+
+but ill tell you a secret...
+
+i actually wear glasses! but i wear contacts in public
+
+# ~
+
+conflict over! we're actually quite good people, and im proud to display that by wearing these glasses
+
+now we can head towards our happy endings...
+
+# !
+
+> theyre fake
+
+people see different things, what actually happened, who knows?
+
+> <
+
+the abrasions arent that simple, the conflict is but an occurance, as is in life.
+
+people are not simple, and in doing such i am defying this false image.
+
+> \>
+
+i have grown past previous thought, and am now my path, i no longer fear that which i did
+
+i am now displaying my preference, important as it was, it is now such an accesory
+
+an aesthetic expression, nothing more
+
+`:wq`

posts/magicItem.md

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+---
+title: Magic Item
+published: 2019-04-02
+---
+
+today i came upon what i believe to be a magic item, an item of great power and importance, lying around my desk at work.
+
+what follows is my experiences with it, and my theories as to its true power.
+
+## the item
+
+nothing more than a plastic box full of screwdrivers for use with computers or other electronics. each screwdriver was a mixture of black and red, with a rubber grip and a variety of ends, whilst the enclosure itself was red with a clear plastic cover, edged by more red plastic.
+
+as far as computer screwdriver go this was pretty plain, but you cannot judge a crook by their lover and as such, there is more to this box that has yet to meet our eyes.
+
+## the power
+
+this thing is
+
+**fuarkken**
+
+***IMPOSSIBLE***
+
+to get in to.
+
+i thought to myself
+
+> i have a bachelors degree, surely i can open this plastic case of screwdrivers
+
+*get dunked on you mizzityucking-fizzityucker*
+
+so i gave it to my coworker, again, with a veritable list of things that should qualify them as smart enough to open this case.
+
+**nothing**
+
+it wasnt until we handed it to one of the front end developers that we were able to get it open, upon which we dare not shut it for fear of closing it off from this world forever
+
+## the explanation
+
+i believe this is some sort of *virus* to convert people into web developemnt. hear me out.
+
+web development is balls, browsing the modern web in twenty this year is absolutely soul crushing and somehow kills your computer moreso than ~~genetically evolving the perfect huniepop ai~~ computing prime factors.
+
+yet businesses need more web devs, so they need some way of getting people into front end web development.
+
+**but**, businesses also have the *power* to get what they need, and as such, some shady arm of one of the biggest corporates in the world ***guarenteed*** has access to some occult bullsoykaf whatever power, and used it (combined with the power of crapitalism) to create this *cursed object*
+
+## but why?
+
+think about it.
+
+you have this box of screwdrivers you cant open, one day by chance, you start learning some front end web development, and that same day, youre able to open the case.
+
+everyone else still cant, but it comes easy to you.
+
+you show others how to do it but they just cant, except for your front end web development friends.
+
+then you think
+
+> wow, i was having a pretty bad time recently, but now that ive started learning front end web delevopment, i got my first small success! sure it was just opening a case of screwdrivers, but now i feel happy, im going to continue on this path of learning front end web development.
+
+and it has your soul
+
+## final thots
+
+as soon as i came to this realisation, i put the box down, took a few steps back, and found a different set of non-cased screwdrivers, which did the job perfectly.
+
+magic does exist in this world, ive seen it with my own three eyes used or nefarious purposes.
+
+keep yourselves safe everyone, we dont know the extent to which the corporates have access to this technology.
+
+always be running.
+
+`:wq`

posts/radioOhfiveohthree.md

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+---
+title: Radio 050.3
+published: 2019-03-23
+---
+
+> title disclaimer: i started this on march fifth, but only finished it at the published date
+
+> incoming transition
+
+i had a real comfy moment pals, it was a cool tech thing, a neat wired thing, and involved a really cool pal of mine.
+
+feelings are hard to describe, if they were easier we might have a lot less conflict in this world, but im gonna do my best to describe it all for ya.
+
+## comfy setup
+
+so id just recently redone my desk and computer setup to be clean, uncluttered, and mainly feature my t420 on its dock, which was super super comfy and also let me see how good nixos is for desktop use
+
+> disclaimer: its awesome
+
+part of this setup was a raspberry pi (named **speedwagon**) which acted as our flats reverse proxy, and lead to ssh for this setup
+
+## my pal
+
+is *awesome*, but the relevent detail here is they do a segment on their uni radio show about psych rock, which is one of the things we have in common.
+
+unfortunetaly, this show runs while im at work, and the sites archives are borked at the moment (poor it guy :(
+
+but now, i could ssh in at work, and rip the stream, so i gave that a go
+
+## long calcs
+
+theres something very comfy about long calculations. when you first started programming and nothing you did was efficient, and youd make some maths thing, and then let it run overnight on a huge number just to see what it said.
+
+the answer didnt matter to you, you had no idea if it was correct and you couldnt be bothered checking it, but just that excitement of seeing the results of something that had been away chugging all night was really comfy.
+
+i had a similar feeling here, having the stream ripping to a file on a hard drive in my physical possesion, and then having to wait till i was home again to listen and check it had worked properly.
+
+## the scene
+
+so i got home at sat at the very setup i was sshed into, and played the file, and it had worked pretty well!
+
+then i heard my pal telling the story of her mate in nz that was trying to record the show, and said that if i was listening, the next song was for me, then played one of my favourite songs at the time
+
+## fin
+
+it was a really comfy time, hearing the results of that experiment, successfully, on the very setup my pal had mentioned in what i was listening to.
+
+its one of those moments, that successful transmission. it really stuck with me, and im glad it happened.
+
+(sorry for the crappy run on sentences)
+
+`:wq`

prog/deskspace.md

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+---
+title: Deskspace
+published: 19-03-31
+---
+
+your desk in your room is where you end up spending a lot of your time so its important to 

prog/radioOhfiveohthree.md

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----
-title: Radio 050.3
-published: 2019-03-05
----
-
-> incoming transition
-
-i had a real comfy moment pals