|
|
@@ -0,0 +1,67 @@ |
|
|
|
--- |
|
|
|
title: "Peanut Butter? I Hardly Even Know Her!" |
|
|
|
published: 2018-09-06 |
|
|
|
--- |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
had a small argument at work, needed to vent my thoughts on it. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
the topic? ***smooth*** vs **crunchy** peanut butter. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
spoler alert, this is a... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<SIRENS ALARM> |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# SMOOTH ONLY ZONE # |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
get out of here with that lumpy *shite* |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
so with that in place, lets get down to business (to defeat, the chunks) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
## texture |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
this was the main point of contention. so lets just get this straight. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
if you are toasting your bread for any amount of time that is more than a few seconds, ***you have texture in your toast*** |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
if you are using any sort of wholegrain bread ***you have texture in your toast*** |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
the chunks in chunky peanut butter make it: |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
* harder to spread |
|
|
|
* harder to eat |
|
|
|
* hurt your teeth |
|
|
|
* increase variance of flavour in each bite |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
so get that shit out of here. moot point. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
smooth v crunchy : 1 - 0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
## taste |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
they taste the same, chunks add nothing, except they randomly increase/decrease the flavour based on the density of chunks you happen to have in that bite. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
smooth gives you a consistent taste. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
this is a good thing. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
moot point, smooth wins this round. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
smooth v crunchy : 2 - 0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
## aesthetics |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
crunchy peanut butter on toast looks like a pile of crunchy shit on a pile of jagged grains. looks terrible. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
smooth contrasts with the roughness of the toast to form a nice balance. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
moot point, smooth wins, maybe if you're eating crunchy peanut butter on flatbread but if you do that you're what we in the business call a ***fuarking weirdo*** and probably shouldn't be allowed out in public. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
smooth v crunchy : 3 - 0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
# final verdict |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
there we have it folks, smooth wins by a **fizzityucking blow out** so any haters are *objectively wrong* |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
if you disagree with this email me at `vip@bigdicc.club` and prepare to get ignored because i don't talk to people with shit opinions on things that count, like this. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ciao all, enjoy your smooth peanut butter. |